Tips to Help You Control Your Anger

  One of the hardest things you can do in life is to learn how to control your anger and avoid getting angry in situations where it would be...

 

One of the hardest things you can do in life is to learn how to control your anger and avoid getting angry in situations where it would be easy to get angry. Here are ten tips that may help you control your anger and avoid getting angry in situations where it would be easy to get angry.

Know the triggers

Try and understand what provokes you to lose your temper. It could be a loud noise, something someone says or even something you see (such as an argument). When you can identify your triggers it’s easier to prepare yourself for times when anger threatens to get out of control. Next time you’re in a situation where you feel like losing your temper, take a deep breath and ask yourself if there’s anything about it that might provoke you. If so, avoid going near it if possible.

Identify calming thoughts

To be able to control your anger, you have to identify calming thoughts. When you get angry or frustrated, turn your attention inward and think about what’s making you angry or frustrated. Are there any deeper issues? what can you do to solve these problems Remind yourself that getting upset isn’t going to help anything. It will only cause more problems and make it more difficult for people around you.

Practice deep breathing

When we feel angry, it’s because our nervous system has kicked into fight-or-flight mode. The rush of adrenaline and cortisol can actually shut down communication between different parts of your brain—and it’s impossible to make a rational decision when you’re in that state.

Say something positive to yourself

The trick here is not to say anything positive that might be seen as empty flattery or a platitude. Rather, it’s about turning self-criticism into self-motivation. If you catch yourself saying something negative, like I never seem to get anywhere with my ideas, turn it around: Next time I’ll come up with a solution before sharing my idea.

Take a break

Anger can make us say things we don’t mean and do things we’ll regret. Taking a break from situations that upset you will help you find your center again, so when you return, you can rationally work through any problems that arise. Take five, go for a walk, call a friend—do whatever it takes to get out of immediate danger and come back more in control of yourself. After all, who wants to be around an angry person?

Talk it out with someone you trust

Being able to talk about your anger issues can be cathartic and also help you work through them. It’s important to remember that you have a friend and ally in your therapist, even if it doesn’t feel like it at times. Whether you go in for a single session or for years, there’s a good chance you’ll benefit from therapy.

Write it down

The most obvious solution is also one of the most effective: write down your feelings and thoughts. Journaling helps you sort through your emotions in a safe space that isn’t influenced by other people, so you can get an objective look at what sets off your anger and how it affects those around you. Instead of letting emotions boil over into actions, journaling allows you to work through them so they don’t build up and result in unhealthy situations later on.

Express your feelings verbally but non-aggressively

Saying I’m angry that you left your workstation in a mess again, is far better than saying You make me so mad I hate coming into my office every day Find an appropriate and constructive way to express your emotions without resorting to insults or obscenities.

Ask yourself if it’s worth getting angry over?

One of my favorite techniques for controlling anger is to ask myself, Is it worth getting angry over? It stops me dead in my tracks if I’m heading into a rage. Rather than impulsively doing something stupid or inappropriate because I'm mad, I just pause and think things through. And you know what? More often than not, it's not worth getting all worked up about it. Let it go. Relax, and move on with your life.